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Ten Ways To Endear Yourself to Your Farrier

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Show up late for your appointments and then spent fifteen minutes messing around and talking to your barn pals before you go get your horse. Most farriers need a break in the middle of the day to rest their backs.
Bring your horse up for shoeing with mud caked up to his belly. There is nothing more fun that getting mud slimed all over your apron and tools. Farriers’ wives like this too. They find the challenge in the laundry room stimulating.
Hose your horse off moments before your farrier arrives so the animal is dripping wet. Farriers especially love this early in the morning on cold windy days. There is something romantic about wearing damp clothing and smelling like a wet horse all day.
Tell your farrier your horse is going better than he ever has. Then make an off hand remark about the skyrocketing price of shoeing these days. Make sure you laugh just a little too loud and a little too late so your farrier knows that making it a joke was an afterthought. Farriers love that sort of appreciation.
Ask your farrier to diagnose a lameness, then mention that your vet already looked at the horse earlier in the day and thinks the problem is different from the farrier’s diagnosis. This is especially helpful if the horse is three legged lame on the leg the farrier said was the problem. (Vets love this too. It usually happens when the owner can’t tell left from right or front from hind. It makes the vet look just as bad as the farrier.)
Refer a friend to your farrier who has a horse that just put another farrier in the hospital. But don’t tell your farrier about the accident. Many farriers love to live on the edge. Makes the pressure of paying a mortgage or putting kids through college even more exciting.
If your farrier prefers to be paid when the work is done, always have some lame excuse as to why you forgot your wallet or checkbook. Better yet, pay with a rubber check. Most farriers shoe horses for the pure love of it. They would probably do it for free if they were independently wealthy.
If your farrier bills you for services rendered, don’t pay for at least thirty days. Better yet, wait until the next shoeing appointment and make a partial payment on the old bill, especially if he has come out three times to set a thrown shoe. All farriers have an arrangement with their bank. The farrier makes loans and the bank shoes horses in the lobby on weekends.
Run up a sizable account with your farrier, then tell him you are talking to another farrier who charges less and ask if your farrier can match prices with the other farrier. Farriers, as a rule, are frustrated used car dealers. If they can find an opportunity to dicker and make a deal, they will jump at it.
Drive up to the barn in a brand new BMW, wearing a $500.00 Aussie waxed duster and $900.00 custom riding boots and then tell your farrier that you think his prices are entirely too high – especially right after he has corrected a major problem in your horse that has been baffling other farriers for several years. Farriers prefer to live below the poverty level. It garners a lot of sympathy from bill collectors, and besides, it's good for the soul.
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Fifteen Ways for Your Farrier to Endear Himself to You
Showing up two hours late. This allows horse owners to spend extra quality time with their horses, rather than doing unimportant things like fetching the kids from school or getting the car repaired.
Showing up two days late. This allows horse owners more time to get ready for the farrier’s visit. It allows for things like choosing the appropriate wardrobe, getting that last speck of dirt off Old Three Legs and fantasizing about the wonderful experience of standing in the cold of January while the farrier sweats like a mule.
Showing up two weeks late. This allows horse owners plenty of time to wander the pastures in search of lost shoes that came off two days after the scheduled appointment. This is a wonderful form of exercise many non-horse folks don’t appreciate.
Not showing up at all. A great form of psychotherapy for horse owners, allowing them to finally deal with those long ago feelings of abandonment from childhood. Farriers should charge extra for this service but they don’t. They see it as a benefit to the community at large.
Not returning phone calls for several days or weeks. Especially about lost shoes. This allows clients to appreciate the quality work farriers do by reminding them how meaningful their relationship with their farrier really is.
Taking several more days or weeks to get that lost shoe back on. See number 5. Multiply times 10.
Showing up unkempt, unshaven and in a rotten mood. Since most horse owners are female, this allows those girls and women to view a form of Man thought long extinct. This is a good education in anthropology.
Showing up drunk – another lesson for society. By example, the farrier is showing our young the evils of drink. We should all thank our farriers for being so generous with their livers as to take it upon themselves to teach our young such a valuable lesson.
Cussing the cat, kicking the dog and leaving rasp marks on the horses hiney, all examples of saving the owner the unpleasant and distasteful task of disciplining unruly pets. This is another customer service that most farriers refuse to charge for out of the kindness of their hearts.
Flirting with the teenage daughter. This teaches young girls how the real world works. They get an education in the birds and the bees without taking time from schoolwork, and enables them to appreciate the finer points of harassment later in life.
Flirting with the wife. This keeps her interest in the opposite gender alive and fresh. Husbands should thank their farriers for this service. It has saved many a marriage.
Going beyond flirting with the wife, to extracurricular activities. This allows husbands more time for important things like golf and Monday night football. Many more marriages have been saved by this valuable service performed by your local farrier.
Leaving all those little nail tips on the driveway allows horse owners to appreciate the value of the automobile, thus further enhancing their relationship with Old Three Legs by knowing he’s around for emergency transportation when the tires on the family car go flat.
Leaving all those wonderful hoof trimmings for the dog. What a generous treat! And it’s free to boot. The large pool of vomit on the living room carpet at 3 AM is a small price to pay for canine happiness.
Charging outrageous prices for mediocre work – a lesson in the value of friendship. Your farrier allows you to show him how important that friendship is every four or five weeks by tipping him above and beyond the true value of his work. How kind of him to offer you such an opportunity!
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